Active vs Passive Questions by PRISM

For Goal Setting by we need to use active or passive question. Active questions are the possibility of choices to passive questions.

winners-within.pngThere is a huge difference between “Do you have clear goals?” and “Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?”

If you will observe and read carefully above statement, the former is trying to determine the employee’s state of mind; the latter challenges the employee to describe or defend a course of action. I, #AnubhaMauryaWalia challenge myself every day by answering 32 questions that represent behavior that I know is important, but that is easy for me to neglect given the pressures of daily life. It has helped me alter my behavior for the better in such a dramatic way that I now teach all of my clients /participants/ traines/ professional  and students this method of self-reflection for positive behavioral change. My six active questions are:

  • Did I do my best to increase my happiness?
  • Did I do my best to find meaning?
  • Did I do my best to be engaged?
  • Did I do my best to build positive relationships?
  • Did I do my best to set clear goals?
  • Did I do my best to make progress toward goal achievement?

Happy Reading and Trust me ” SET GOALS and “

You can reach out to me at or connect with me at


I have HERO in me – I am SHEROES

I have HE in ME —I am SHE
I have MALE in ME— I am FEMALE

Sheroes Community meet – 26th Nov 2016. Speaker : Anubha Maurya Walia, founder director of Prism (

I have HERO in ME—I am SHEROES

We wonderful females are working and contributing our life to our family, and often pursuing more than one task including long-term career or abandoning our passion. World needs to learn from us how are we managing  all….. During my session with Team Sheroes,  they are not only sharing but empower’s female fraternity and help them by giving direction to manage oneself & to achieve ongoing success and happiness in the life of female i.e:

*Taking charge of one’s own personal development.

*Looking for opportunities to make a contribution.

*Being engaged in the work and the workplace, and

*Making all of us introspect by their goals-THINK BEYOND PINK.

0-16My Inputs based on philosophy I created PRISM (Prepare, Respect, Implement, Share, Maintain) the keys to any kind of self-management are:

*Prepare yourself by Knowing what one’s own strengths are and capitalizing on them.

*Respect by Understanding which personal learning and work styles work best.

*Implement your prep work and execution is key to success

*Share your a strong sense of personal values and matching those to the work situation.

*Maintain your style 🙂

What I observed during my interaction with team, People tend to be happiest and most fulfilled when they feel they are making a contribution  that aligns with their own values. Making the right contribution is based on assessing own needs; evaluating how one’s own strengths, preferred performance methods, and personal values can make a difference in the situation; and taking into consideration the desired results and that is SHEROES contribution. Great cheers to team SHEROES.



Sharing Source of Influence


Source 1: Love What You Hate

One of the greatest challenges to change is the fact that the things that people should do are often tedious or uncomfortable. As a result, people resist engaging in these activities. If individuals can transform unpleasant activities into pleasurable ones, they can make significant progress toward their goals. The authors recommend five tactics for turning the future into a positive force for change.

1. Visit the default future. The default future showcases the life that a person will experience if behaviors are not changed. When individuals consider the worst case scenarios that could affect them, they are often motivated to change.

2. Tell the whole vivid story. When Changers encounter temptations, they are sure to tell themselves the whole story concerning the situation. As a part of identifying specific consequences of bad behaviors, it is important to use vibrant language, as well as specific and meaningful labels to fully remember the behaviors experienced.

3. Use “value words.” Instead of focusing on the unpleasant aspects of new habits, it is better to focus on the values that those activities support. It can be very satisfying to know that new behaviors are closely linked to values.

4. Make it a game. A common technique used by successful Changers to increase their motivation is to turn chores into games. These games have three key elements: they have a limited duration, a small challenge, and a score.

5. Create a Personal Motivation Statement. When crucial moments arise, it is possible to rewire thoughts regarding how to respond by using a Personal Motivation Statement. The best statements include references to the default future, include vivid descriptions, and incorporate lots of value words.

Source 2: Do What You Cannot

When it comes to personal change programs, skills and knowledge are just as important as willpower. When people enhance their personal abilities, it enables them to do things that used to be difficult. As a result, change can occur faster. The authors suggest using three tactics to build skills that will support personal change initiatives:

1. Start with a skill scan. Before implementing a change plan, it is a good idea for people to scan whether they have the abilities necessary to achieve their goals. It may be hard for an individual to identify what skills they are lacking. As a result, it can be useful to seek help from others.

2. Employ deliberate practice. When people have debilitating fears related to new behaviors, it can be very difficult to change habits. However, using deliberate practice has been shown to help people learn new skills two to three times faster than other methods. A good first step is to practice for crucial moments by determining what skills will be necessary to survive these high stakes situations. Once the skills have been identified, people should break them into small pieces and practice each skill in short intervals. It can be beneficial to evaluate progress as well as prepare for setbacks.

3. Learn the will skill. Despite popular belief, willpower can be learned, and the best way to learn it is through deliberate practice. First, it is necessary to enumerate crucial moments from the least risky to the most risky. Begin deliberate practice by placing oneself in a tempting, but low-risk situation and then use a tool, such as distraction, to strengthen willpower. The authors recommend engaging in riskier situations only if a coach is available.

Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends

People in positions of authority wield social pressure which can influence people in positive and negative ways. Negative influences can be very challenging when an individual is striving to change habits. However, it is possible to use social pressure as a positive force for making behavior changes. The authors outline five tactics that people can use to transform others into positive influences:

1. Know who is a friend and who is an accomplice. Friends support others as they strive to live better lives. Accomplices, in contrast, promote negative behaviors. It is important to keep in mind that peers define what appears to be “normal” and acceptable. In addition, peers also can lower a person’s aspirations and hold a person accountable to bad behaviors. People who want to change must identify the accomplices in their life and either ask them to become friends or minimize interaction with them. People with six or more friends are almost 40 percent more likely to succeed than those with less than half a dozen friends.

2. Redefine normal. Since accomplices can affect what people believe is “normal,” it is a good idea to rise above the shared sense of what is acceptable. People can do this by asking themselves how they want to live and feel, and who they want to be.

3. Hold a transformation conversation. An effective way to transform others into coaches and fans is to tell exactly what is needed to succeed. During a transformation conversation, a person explains to others how they unintentionally promote bad behaviors and asks for a healthier relationship.

4. Add new friends. One way to find new friends is to join associations and social networks comprised of like-minded people.

5. Create distance with the unwilling. If a peer is unwilling to become a friend, it is necessary to create distance with that individual. This can be painful, but the negative power of accomplices cannot be underestimated.

Source 5: Invert the Economy

Incentives often motivate behaviors, but unfortunately those behaviors are often the wrong ones. One effective way to change habits is to invert the economy and create penalties for engaging in unhealthy behaviors. The authors outline three tactics that can be used to motivate change:

1. Use carrots and the threat of losing carrots. Human nature motivates people to avoid loss. As a result, when individuals put something that they value at risk, they are more likely to change. For instance, after paying for a personal trainer, people are more likely to go to the gym because they do not like paying for services that go unused.

2. Use incentives in moderation and in combination. Big incentives can be counterproductive because they become a primary source of motivation. Small rewards, used in moderation and in combination with social and personal motivators, are usually most effective.

3. Reward small wins. A good practice is to break large, long-term goals into smaller, short-term ones. Small goals should be rewarded, rather than only recognizing the achievement of the ultimate goal. The greatest risk for a long-term change project is not failing at the end, but dropping out at the beginning. It is also important to reward actions, rather than results.

Source 6: Control Your Space

The physical world, such as the design of a home or an office, affects behavior in ways that are often hard to detect. In order to take control of behavior, it is also necessary to take control of space, and redesign it in ways that support new habits. The authors have identified five tactics people can use to reconfigure their environment:

1. Build fences. Creating boundaries can prevent a person from encountering tempting situations. When building fences, there are two rules of thumb to follow. First, the decision to fence off temptations should be made by the person who wants to change. Second, fences should not be used as a substitute for a plan that addresses the six sources of influence. People often rely on fences as their only defense. This can be problematic if individuals do not prepare for a world where those boundaries do not exist.

2. Manage distance. If it is possible to create distance between temptations, it is a good idea to do so. Researchers have found that moving a temptation even a few feet away can have a positive impact on behavior.

3. Change cues. Cues indicate what a person should think about and want. They transform wants into needs. It is possible to create cues that are consistent with the change a person wants to make. One of the best cues is a scorecard which charts a person’s progress toward a goal. However, cues become an invisible part of the environment over time, so it is important to create new cues periodically.

4. Engage the autopilot. Humans have a default bias, which means once a behavior is established people prefer not to change it. To take advantage of this phenomenon, people should set up positive defaults. Once a person is on autopilot with positive behaviors, they are likely to continue.

5. Use tools. Tools like online counters and other tracking systems can help reinforce positive behaviors.

Just Implement


All of the work that a leader does related to values definition, leadership development, direction-setting, communication, and motivation, will come together when it is time to implement an initiative. Although many companies look outside for explanations when they encounter failure, Kraemer believes that execution often runs into problems because there is no clear owner. As a result, failure can usually be attributed to an individual leader or to organizational factors.

When it comes to implementation, leaders must strike a balance between delegation of work to others and personal involvement. This requires leaders to maintain some managerial duties. Kraemer suggests that a person cannot be a good leader unless he or she is also a good manager. Leaders should never lose touch with what is happening on a day to day basis. A good analogy is the coach of a sports team. He or she remains close to the action, but delegates to the team members who are on the field. At the same time, the coach maintains enough distance to determine what changes may need to be made.

There are four management processes that are essential for good implementation and execution: strategic, people, operations, and measurement. These four processes must work together simultaneously.

* Strategic process. The strategic process helps teams identify where they are today and where they want to go in the future. Part of the strategic process is identifying key issues, opportunities, and alternatives that may affect the company. One way to view this process is as a road map that is constantly updated to take the company in a new and specific direction.

* People process. This process ensures that leaders have identified team members who are well suited to carry out the vision that was identified in the strategic process. Human resources is a very important partner, who can help link the strategic and people processes.

* Operations process. The operations process or operating budget focuses on the present, while the strategic process is focused on the future. The goal of the operations process is to identify the steps needed to attain the company’s vision. Ideally, the operations process should encompass the first year of the strategic process. For effective execution to occur, the strategic, people, and operations processes must be closely aligned.

* Measurement process. During execution, teams often overlook measurement. This is a significant problem since things that are measured and defined get accomplished in an organization. On the other hand, companies should not go overboard and become burdened with unnecessary reports. Kraemer recommends that teams carefully consider what they measure, and why they measure it. To that end, he suggests developing key metrics and reporting on an exception basis. Under exception based reporting, if a division is within a certain percentage of its operating goals, then the leader does not need to review its reports. Of greatest interest to leaders are groups that are either over-performing or under-performing.

One of the leader’s roles is to ask the right questions, which will ultimately lead to the best decision. Good questions can determine whether a strategy is sound, whether the right employees are on the team, or whether or not the company’s operations are competitive in the industry. While there will be large amounts of information and many distractions, good leaders keep a balanced point of view and make well-reasoned decisions. After a decision has been made, the leader must remain engaged.

Prepare to Change

Six sources of influence that affect people as they try to change their habits. They also identify change tactics that can help counteract each of these influences. People who follow these steps and align sources of influence in their favor are more likely to achieve personal success.

1. Personal motivation. Although personal impulses can be compelling, it is possible to interrupt these impulses by connecting with personal goals during crucial moments.

2. Personal ability. A proven way to change habits is to enhance personal ability and to learn new skills.

3. Social motivation. There is a clear social component to bad habits. When friends encourage bad behavior and also engage in it, this is very difficult to resist. If individuals can transform “accomplices” into “friends” who encourage good behavior, they are more likely to change their habits.

4. Social ability. To change longstanding habits, people usually need support from other people. Individuals who get a life coach or mentor are often more successful at changing behaviors.

5. Structural motivation. People who connect short-term rewards or punishments to new habits are usually more likely to adopt those new habits.

6. Structural ability. Researchers have found that minor environmental changes can have a significant effect on a person’s choices. Individuals experience faster behavior changes when they add visual cues to help them focus on their goals.

By understanding these influences, it is possible for people to consciously design change plans that address them. The authors discovered that individuals who incorporate the six sources of influence into their change plans are ten times more likely to succeed than people who do not take this approach.

Respect Effective Communicator


Effective communication has three qualities: clarity, simplicity, and brevity. Kraemer believes that communication is one area where most leaders could use improvement. Communication is certainly important, but more communication does not necessarily result in more effective communication. On the other hand, some leaders believe that employees only need a brief explanation of a task and may simply send an email or voicemail. Yet, taking time to communicate completely dramatically increases the likelihood that assignments will be completed in a satisfactory way. Leaders should never be too busy to communicate.

If an issue is ongoing, leaders may feel that they have communicated about it enough. In reality, people should always be reminded of issues that remain high priority for the organization. Kraemer recommends using a military technique called “back briefing” to guarantee that a message has been communicated clearly to an employee. With this approach, the leader gives an assignment to an employee, then the leader asks the employee how they will approach the task.

Another communication problem that leaders often encounter is communicating frequently when times are going well, but ceasing communication when a problem arises. Kraemer recommends telling employees immediately what leaders know about an issue and how soon information will be available about the unknowns. When leaders fail to communicate during a crisis, problems are always perceived to be worse than they really are. Kraemer’s rule is that his team should know everything that he knows.

Although many view communication as what is conveyed verbally, other contributors to effective communication are trustworthiness, being a good listener, and relating to every team member. When leaders are open and honest, they are more likely to be perceived as credible and trustworthy. Experts suggest that 90 percent of effective communication is listening. Yet many people who do not have self-confidence (one of the key principles of values-based leadership) find listening difficult. The higher up the corporate ladder a leader progresses, the more important it becomes to relate to team members. Relating to employees is especially important in global companies, where people come from different cultures and often have different communication practices.

Prepare to Lead a Change

Enter the fundamental state of leadership by engaging in eight practices : reflective action, authentic engagement, appreciative inquiry, grounded vision, adaptive confidence, detached interdependence, responsible freedom, and tough love

Leadership development is a two-step process. First, people must change themselves by choosing to enter the fundamental state of leadership, and second, they help others change by helping them enter the fundamental state of leadership. People do not have to hold a position at the top of an organization to lead change. Likewise, not all people at the top of an organization are—ever—in a fundamental state of leadership. Many executives are called leaders because of the position they hold, which is not the same as leading. The concept of the fundamental state of leadership redefines what leadership means. Leadership is not synonymous with authority, and it is not a set of learnable skills. It is a state—a way of being. With this redefinition of leadership comes a corresponding redefinition of how leadership should be developed.

There is no way to teach leadership except by being what one wants to be in order to inspire others. In the fundamental state of leadership, people become natural “attractors.” With those they attract, they develop a social movement that subsequently develops into a critical mass of people who see things in a new way and who are willing to join together to produce innovative initiatives. This critical mass becomes a productive community that continuously strives to adapt to reality as it emerges, so that together they build a bridge as they walk on it.