Active vs Passive Questions by PRISM

For Goal Setting by http://prismphilosophy.com/about/ we need to use active or passive question. Active questions are the possibility of choices to passive questions.

winners-within.pngThere is a huge difference between “Do you have clear goals?” and “Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?”

If you will observe and read carefully above statement, the former is trying to determine the employee’s state of mind; the latter challenges the employee to describe or defend a course of action. I, #AnubhaMauryaWalia challenge myself every day by answering 32 questions that represent behavior that I know is important, but that is easy for me to neglect given the pressures of daily life. It has helped me alter my behavior for the better in such a dramatic way that I now teach all of my clients /participants/ traines/ professional  and students this method of self-reflection for positive behavioral change. My six active questions are:

  • Did I do my best to increase my happiness?
  • Did I do my best to find meaning?
  • Did I do my best to be engaged?
  • Did I do my best to build positive relationships?
  • Did I do my best to set clear goals?
  • Did I do my best to make progress toward goal achievement?

Happy Reading and Trust me ” SET GOALS and “https://prismphilosophy.wordpress.com/2018/04/01/dreams-goals/

You can reach out to me at anubha@prismphilosophy.com or connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/anubha-maurya-walia-12850018/

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I have HERO in me – I am SHEROES

I have HE in ME —I am SHE
I have MALE in ME— I am FEMALE

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Sheroes Community meet – 26th Nov 2016. Speaker : Anubha Maurya Walia, founder director of Prism (www.prism-global.org)

I have HERO in ME—I am SHEROES

We wonderful females are working and contributing our life to our family, and often pursuing more than one task including long-term career or abandoning our passion. World needs to learn from us how are we managing  all….. During my session with Team Sheroes,  they are not only sharing but empower’s female fraternity and help them by giving direction to manage oneself & to achieve ongoing success and happiness in the life of female i.e:

*Taking charge of one’s own personal development.

*Looking for opportunities to make a contribution.

*Being engaged in the work and the workplace, and

*Making all of us introspect by their goals-THINK BEYOND PINK.

0-16My Inputs based on philosophy I created PRISM (Prepare, Respect, Implement, Share, Maintain) the keys to any kind of self-management are:

*Prepare yourself by Knowing what one’s own strengths are and capitalizing on them.

*Respect by Understanding which personal learning and work styles work best.

*Implement your prep work and execution is key to success

*Share your a strong sense of personal values and matching those to the work situation.

*Maintain your style 🙂

What I observed during my interaction with team, People tend to be happiest and most fulfilled when they feel they are making a contribution  that aligns with their own values. Making the right contribution is based on assessing own needs; evaluating how one’s own strengths, preferred performance methods, and personal values can make a difference in the situation; and taking into consideration the desired results and that is SHEROES contribution. Great cheers to team SHEROES.

 

 

Share your FEAR & Overcome it

If You Had No Fear

Fear diminishes imagination in adults. This is the main reason they do not set goals and pursue them wholeheartedly. There are seven major psychological fears that affect people around the world:

1. Atychiphobia, the fear of failure. It is unhealthy to think that personal ideas, dreams, goals, and passions are not really worth pursuing because they inevitably lead to failure. Even failure teaches people lessons and gives them the resilience to move on.

2. Peniaphobia, the fear of going broke. People cannot achieve financial goals without taking risks; however, they can put plans in place that ensure that going broke never happens. This fear should inspire people to make smart, aggressive decisions to decrease their spending and increase their incomes.

3. Xenophobia, the fear of the unfamiliar. People with this fear create their own prisons. Their worlds become tiny, and they stop growing and learning. Instead, they should try new experiences that allow them to escape their daily routines.

4. Monophobia, the fear of being alone. This fear keeps people from becoming independent and making their own decisions. Strategies for conquering this fear include seeking support from online groups, easing into solitary activities, and seeking out personal adventures.

5. Kakorrhaphiophobia, the fear of rejection. This fear robs people of the innocence and imagination of their youth. In some cases, however, enduring rejection eventually leads to the acceptance of an idea. Actively seeking rejection helps people build up immunity to it over time.

6. Thanatophobia, the fear of death. This is probably the most complicated fear of all. Because death is inevitable, worrying about it is utterly counterproductive. Making a will or purchasing life insurance may help alleviate this fear.

7. Glossophobia, the fear of public speaking. This is the combination of many other fears, including kakorrhaphiophobia and atychiphobia. Speaking naturally, preparing as far in advance as possible, and rehearsing in front of friends and family can help people overcome glossophobia.

Just work on Prepare to change anything

 

To illustrate how powerful the science of personal success can be, the authors describe how Changers have successfully applied the techniques to common problems and succeeded at changing their habits.

Getting Unstuck at Work

Research conducted by Change Anything Labs found that top performers in a wide variety of organizations demonstrate the same three vital behaviors. First, they focus on the technical aspects of their jobs and work hard at mastering those. Second, they contribute to tasks that are key to the organization’s success. Third, they have a reputation for helping others solve their problems. To succeed at work, people must tailor these three vital behaviors to their own circumstances.

In a case study focused on an accountant named Melanie, the authors explain how she created a six source plan to improve her professional situation:

* Source 1: Love What You Hate. Melanie developed a Personal Motivation Statement and visited her default future by looking at co-workers who had leveled out early in their careers. She also set up an automatic motivational email and developed a game based on tracking her billable hours.

* Source 2: Do What You Cannot. Melanie completed a skill scan and enrolled in a tax law seminar.

* Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends. Melanie held a transformation conversation with her life partner, converted her boss from an accomplice into a friend, and cultivated new friends.

* Source 5: Invert the Economy. Melanie made use of financial incentives, by saving for a new bicycle each week she met her goals, and sending money to a political party she opposed when she did not.

* Source 6: Control Your Space. Melanie used cues like photos and motivational messages, built fences, and used tools to stay on track.

Losing Weight, Getting Fit, and Staying That Way

With weight loss and fitness, short-term campaigns do not work. Instead, it is necessary to develop new lifelong habits. According to the authors, people who have successfully lost weight all demonstrate three vital behaviors. First, they assessed their overall health before starting a diet or exercise program. Second, they ate more healthfully and ate less. Third, they incorporated a mix of exercise, including stretching, strengthening, and cardiovascular activities.

The authors offer the following examples of how people can engage the six sources of influence to support weight loss and improved fitness.

* Source 1: Love What You Hate. It is important to find food and exercise options that are enjoyable. Consider visiting the default future to resist temptation or count calories as a game.

* Source 2: Do What You Cannot. Conduct a skill scan and identify whether new skills beyond dieting and fitness skills are needed.

* Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends. Try to find a partner in training and work together on diet and fitness goals. Also, ensure that the person who does the food shopping and cooking is a friend, rather than an accomplice.

* Source 5: Invert the Economy. Weight loss goals should be short-term, such as losing one pound per week. The authors describe a person who wanted to lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks. Each week he missed his target, he lost $10.

* Source 6: Control Your Space. One way to build fences is to do a food audit and discard unhealthy foods. Joining a gym that is closer to work or home is an effective way to manage distance. Both cues and tools can be used to promote better nutrition and exercise.

Becoming Financially Fit and Staying Out of Debt

In a case study that focused on Shiree and Tyson, the authors explain how a married couple developed a plan to get out of debt and improve their financial situation. First, they identified their crucial moments and created vital behaviors. Their four vital behaviors were to (1) track all their expenditures in a mobile phone app, (2) make a list of what they intended to buy before going to the store, (3) save 10 percent from their paychecks before spending anything, and (4) hold a weekly wealth review to discuss what they spent and agree on the next week’s budget.

Shiree and Tyson used the six sources of influence to achieve their financial goals:

* Source 1: Love What You Hate. They interviewed each other and created a Personal Motivation Statement. In addition, they used a web tool to vividly illustrate that their monthly expenditures exceeded their monthly income. To make their goals more manageable, they made it a game focused on small wins and with a visible scoreboard.

* Source 2: Do What You Cannot. After Shiree and Tyson did a financial skills scan, they created a plan to become more financially knowledgeable. They also worked on impulse control by taking a list of planned purchases to the store and delaying unplanned purchases until they had thought about them for 24 hours.

* Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends. Shiree and Tyson realized that they had been accomplices to one another, so they changed their behaviors. In addition, they developed a circle of virtual “friends,” comprised of other people who listened to a personal finance radio talk show.

* Source 5: Invert the Economy. Each week that the couple maintained their financial plan, they rewarded themselves with a free Wednesday night date.

* Source 6: Control Your Space. The most important tool Shiree and Tyson used was a mobile phone app that displayed how much they had remaining in each budget category. Other tactics they used were to build a “cash fence” and to pay for everything with cash for six months, and to avoid situations that would tempt them to spend money.

Taking Life Back From Addiction

A case study about a man named Lee describes how one person overcame an addiction to cigarettes. The authors suggest that three actions are important to adopt when dealing with an addiction. First, it is important to say no and to stop engaging in the bad habit. Second, it is essential to engage in incompatible activities. This typically equates to activities which distract the person from their addiction. Third, physical activity seems to reprogram the brain’s internal circuits which help to break addictions.

* Source 1: Love What You Hate. Lee focused on his long-term aspirations and how smoking detracted from them. He used value words to counteract temptations and also began hiking.

* Source 2: Do What You Cannot. After conducting a skill scan, Lee learned more about his addiction and also discovered ways to distract himself from the urge to smoke.

* Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends. Lee held transformation conversations with his wife, father, and smoking friends at work. He also added new friends by joining a hiking club.

* Source 5: Invert the Economy. When Lee met his goals, he took the money that would have been spent on cigarettes and used it to fund family outings. After a few months of success, he and his wife also invested in the future by cleaning the carpets, washing the walls, and throwing away Lee’s smoking chair.

* Source 6: Control Your Space. Lee built fences by getting rid of cigarettes and smoking related objects. He also used tools on his mobile phone and computer which encouraged him to change.

Changing Relationships by Changing Oneself

In relationships, negative experiences can color the way a person perceives the entire relationship. Marriage scholar Howard Markman has identified four actions related to how people argue which predict with 90 percent accuracy whether a couple will remain happy or not. These actions are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Couples who use these tactics are unlikely to remain happy in their relationships.

The authors use the case study of Patricia to describe how the science of personal change can be used to revitalize relationships. After watching three friends go through divorces, Patricia began to consider breaking up with her husband, Jonathan. To save her marriage, she created a plan based on the six influences:

* Source 1: Love What You Hate. Patricia visited her default future if nothing changed and realized that she must take action. She also began to take responsibility for her role in the relationship, rather than believing she was the innocent victim.

* Source 2: Do What You Cannot. Patricia and Jonathan got coaching from a marriage therapist and worked on their skills together.

* Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends. Patricia’s brother acted as a true friend and helped her understand that her own behavior might be affecting her relationship.

* Source 5: Invert the Economy. After developing a plan for change, Patricia and Jonathan used incentives to keep them on track. They celebrated weeks when they enacted their vital behaviors with a special night out or nice bottle of wine.

* Source 6: Control Your Space. Some of Patricia and Jonathan’s problems originated from their beautiful home and large mortgage. The payments drove Patricia to work long hours. As a result, they decided to change their environment. They also took steps to fence off harsh verbal conflict.

Sharing Source of Influence

 

Source 1: Love What You Hate

One of the greatest challenges to change is the fact that the things that people should do are often tedious or uncomfortable. As a result, people resist engaging in these activities. If individuals can transform unpleasant activities into pleasurable ones, they can make significant progress toward their goals. The authors recommend five tactics for turning the future into a positive force for change.

1. Visit the default future. The default future showcases the life that a person will experience if behaviors are not changed. When individuals consider the worst case scenarios that could affect them, they are often motivated to change.

2. Tell the whole vivid story. When Changers encounter temptations, they are sure to tell themselves the whole story concerning the situation. As a part of identifying specific consequences of bad behaviors, it is important to use vibrant language, as well as specific and meaningful labels to fully remember the behaviors experienced.

3. Use “value words.” Instead of focusing on the unpleasant aspects of new habits, it is better to focus on the values that those activities support. It can be very satisfying to know that new behaviors are closely linked to values.

4. Make it a game. A common technique used by successful Changers to increase their motivation is to turn chores into games. These games have three key elements: they have a limited duration, a small challenge, and a score.

5. Create a Personal Motivation Statement. When crucial moments arise, it is possible to rewire thoughts regarding how to respond by using a Personal Motivation Statement. The best statements include references to the default future, include vivid descriptions, and incorporate lots of value words.

Source 2: Do What You Cannot

When it comes to personal change programs, skills and knowledge are just as important as willpower. When people enhance their personal abilities, it enables them to do things that used to be difficult. As a result, change can occur faster. The authors suggest using three tactics to build skills that will support personal change initiatives:

1. Start with a skill scan. Before implementing a change plan, it is a good idea for people to scan whether they have the abilities necessary to achieve their goals. It may be hard for an individual to identify what skills they are lacking. As a result, it can be useful to seek help from others.

2. Employ deliberate practice. When people have debilitating fears related to new behaviors, it can be very difficult to change habits. However, using deliberate practice has been shown to help people learn new skills two to three times faster than other methods. A good first step is to practice for crucial moments by determining what skills will be necessary to survive these high stakes situations. Once the skills have been identified, people should break them into small pieces and practice each skill in short intervals. It can be beneficial to evaluate progress as well as prepare for setbacks.

3. Learn the will skill. Despite popular belief, willpower can be learned, and the best way to learn it is through deliberate practice. First, it is necessary to enumerate crucial moments from the least risky to the most risky. Begin deliberate practice by placing oneself in a tempting, but low-risk situation and then use a tool, such as distraction, to strengthen willpower. The authors recommend engaging in riskier situations only if a coach is available.

Sources 3 and 4: Turn Accomplices into Friends

People in positions of authority wield social pressure which can influence people in positive and negative ways. Negative influences can be very challenging when an individual is striving to change habits. However, it is possible to use social pressure as a positive force for making behavior changes. The authors outline five tactics that people can use to transform others into positive influences:

1. Know who is a friend and who is an accomplice. Friends support others as they strive to live better lives. Accomplices, in contrast, promote negative behaviors. It is important to keep in mind that peers define what appears to be “normal” and acceptable. In addition, peers also can lower a person’s aspirations and hold a person accountable to bad behaviors. People who want to change must identify the accomplices in their life and either ask them to become friends or minimize interaction with them. People with six or more friends are almost 40 percent more likely to succeed than those with less than half a dozen friends.

2. Redefine normal. Since accomplices can affect what people believe is “normal,” it is a good idea to rise above the shared sense of what is acceptable. People can do this by asking themselves how they want to live and feel, and who they want to be.

3. Hold a transformation conversation. An effective way to transform others into coaches and fans is to tell exactly what is needed to succeed. During a transformation conversation, a person explains to others how they unintentionally promote bad behaviors and asks for a healthier relationship.

4. Add new friends. One way to find new friends is to join associations and social networks comprised of like-minded people.

5. Create distance with the unwilling. If a peer is unwilling to become a friend, it is necessary to create distance with that individual. This can be painful, but the negative power of accomplices cannot be underestimated.

Source 5: Invert the Economy

Incentives often motivate behaviors, but unfortunately those behaviors are often the wrong ones. One effective way to change habits is to invert the economy and create penalties for engaging in unhealthy behaviors. The authors outline three tactics that can be used to motivate change:

1. Use carrots and the threat of losing carrots. Human nature motivates people to avoid loss. As a result, when individuals put something that they value at risk, they are more likely to change. For instance, after paying for a personal trainer, people are more likely to go to the gym because they do not like paying for services that go unused.

2. Use incentives in moderation and in combination. Big incentives can be counterproductive because they become a primary source of motivation. Small rewards, used in moderation and in combination with social and personal motivators, are usually most effective.

3. Reward small wins. A good practice is to break large, long-term goals into smaller, short-term ones. Small goals should be rewarded, rather than only recognizing the achievement of the ultimate goal. The greatest risk for a long-term change project is not failing at the end, but dropping out at the beginning. It is also important to reward actions, rather than results.

Source 6: Control Your Space

The physical world, such as the design of a home or an office, affects behavior in ways that are often hard to detect. In order to take control of behavior, it is also necessary to take control of space, and redesign it in ways that support new habits. The authors have identified five tactics people can use to reconfigure their environment:

1. Build fences. Creating boundaries can prevent a person from encountering tempting situations. When building fences, there are two rules of thumb to follow. First, the decision to fence off temptations should be made by the person who wants to change. Second, fences should not be used as a substitute for a plan that addresses the six sources of influence. People often rely on fences as their only defense. This can be problematic if individuals do not prepare for a world where those boundaries do not exist.

2. Manage distance. If it is possible to create distance between temptations, it is a good idea to do so. Researchers have found that moving a temptation even a few feet away can have a positive impact on behavior.

3. Change cues. Cues indicate what a person should think about and want. They transform wants into needs. It is possible to create cues that are consistent with the change a person wants to make. One of the best cues is a scorecard which charts a person’s progress toward a goal. However, cues become an invisible part of the environment over time, so it is important to create new cues periodically.

4. Engage the autopilot. Humans have a default bias, which means once a behavior is established people prefer not to change it. To take advantage of this phenomenon, people should set up positive defaults. Once a person is on autopilot with positive behaviors, they are likely to continue.

5. Use tools. Tools like online counters and other tracking systems can help reinforce positive behaviors.

Just Implement

 

All of the work that a leader does related to values definition, leadership development, direction-setting, communication, and motivation, will come together when it is time to implement an initiative. Although many companies look outside for explanations when they encounter failure, Kraemer believes that execution often runs into problems because there is no clear owner. As a result, failure can usually be attributed to an individual leader or to organizational factors.

When it comes to implementation, leaders must strike a balance between delegation of work to others and personal involvement. This requires leaders to maintain some managerial duties. Kraemer suggests that a person cannot be a good leader unless he or she is also a good manager. Leaders should never lose touch with what is happening on a day to day basis. A good analogy is the coach of a sports team. He or she remains close to the action, but delegates to the team members who are on the field. At the same time, the coach maintains enough distance to determine what changes may need to be made.

There are four management processes that are essential for good implementation and execution: strategic, people, operations, and measurement. These four processes must work together simultaneously.

* Strategic process. The strategic process helps teams identify where they are today and where they want to go in the future. Part of the strategic process is identifying key issues, opportunities, and alternatives that may affect the company. One way to view this process is as a road map that is constantly updated to take the company in a new and specific direction.

* People process. This process ensures that leaders have identified team members who are well suited to carry out the vision that was identified in the strategic process. Human resources is a very important partner, who can help link the strategic and people processes.

* Operations process. The operations process or operating budget focuses on the present, while the strategic process is focused on the future. The goal of the operations process is to identify the steps needed to attain the company’s vision. Ideally, the operations process should encompass the first year of the strategic process. For effective execution to occur, the strategic, people, and operations processes must be closely aligned.

* Measurement process. During execution, teams often overlook measurement. This is a significant problem since things that are measured and defined get accomplished in an organization. On the other hand, companies should not go overboard and become burdened with unnecessary reports. Kraemer recommends that teams carefully consider what they measure, and why they measure it. To that end, he suggests developing key metrics and reporting on an exception basis. Under exception based reporting, if a division is within a certain percentage of its operating goals, then the leader does not need to review its reports. Of greatest interest to leaders are groups that are either over-performing or under-performing.

One of the leader’s roles is to ask the right questions, which will ultimately lead to the best decision. Good questions can determine whether a strategy is sound, whether the right employees are on the team, or whether or not the company’s operations are competitive in the industry. While there will be large amounts of information and many distractions, good leaders keep a balanced point of view and make well-reasoned decisions. After a decision has been made, the leader must remain engaged.

Respect Direction proposed by Leader

 

A values-based organization cannot exist unless every employee understands clearly what needs to be done, and how their work plays a part in the bigger picture. Often, many people end up doing things that are not consistent with the company’s goals. To set a clear direction, leaders must focus on simplicity and clarity. This means breaking down complex goals into smaller pieces of work. Kraemer emphasizes that the frontline workers are a vitally important part of every organizational strategy. As a result, they need to understand what is going on in the organization and why.

When managers assign work to a subordinate, they must provide context for that work. This helps employees feel that they are part of the larger plan, and it empowers them to perform as individual contributors. Because people throughout organizations seek meaning and purpose, they want to be emotionally engaged with their work. It significantly helps for people to understand that their assignments make a difference to the success of the organization.

Kraemer feels that setting a clear direction results in four major benefits for a company:

  1. When employees understand the company’s direction, the organization is more likely to achieve its goals.
  2. When employees realize that their work is important, they will feel engaged in their assignments and more motivated to do good work.
  3. Employees who understand their roles and how those fit into the larger picture are well positioned to offer feedback and input to their supervisors.
  4. Even if employees do not have immediate and direct oversight, they are still able to act on their own because they understand the overall direction.

A team approach to setting direction is often very effective. Leaders should begin by listening carefully to employees. When an issue arises, the leader should ask the team for their input and encourage a dialogue that is not burdened by the leader’s opinion on the subject. When the environment feels safe, people will be willing to provide feedback. In fact, Kraemer recommends that leaders reward team members for challenging a leader’s views. When a team approach to setting direction is used, it can break down organizational barriers and functional silos.